Sox Win, Remain Undefeated

Big Game James is lame.

So it’s a little hard to believe it’s baseball season again since it’s like 2 degrees out.  In fact, I’m still wearing a sweatshirt to bed in my crate to keep warm.  The other day I peed on a hydrant and my pee froze before it hit the ground.  Squirrels are still in hibernation and haven’t yet come out for mating season so I can eat them.  Jacoby Ellsbury is freezing, but just in one arm.  Lugo can’t leave the hot tub.  Papi is insulating himself with pork chops.
But getting experience playing in the cold is great for the conditions the Sox will face in November!
Big Pupi   

Despite Payroll, Baltimore Still Better than Yanks

I’m glad the Yanks picked up Sabathia (6 runs in 4 1-3 innings and 2 wild pitches) and Teixeria (0-4 with 5 stranded runners) because those guys stink.  Looks like they are the next Johnny Damon and Bobby Abreu.  Or Randy Johnson.  If the Yanks had Julio Lugo, they’d have the most expensive team of bums ever fielded.

As for the Sox, the rain ruined Opening Day.  I happen to hate the rain, even though I do enjoy swimming in lakes and peeing in kiddie pools.  Better luck tomorrow.
Happy feasting,
Big Pupi

Thanks for the Taco, Jason Bartlett!

Although Jason Bartlett lost last night, he won the hearts and stomachs of America a free taco.  My human promised to come home from work on Tuesday, Oct 28th from 2-6 PM so we could hit the local Taco Bell and redeem our free feast.

Also, I have a great new idea for the product development people over at Taco Bell.  When Taco Bell president Greg Creed was talking last night about how he loved playing cricket, the idea came to me.  Cricket tacos!  If you guys have never feasted on a crunchy little cricket, you’re missing out.  These guys are tasty!  They are usually found in your territory in places were the grass has not been maintained for awhile.  I recommend pawing at them a little to see what they are doing and then feasting on them.

So when the Taco Bell lady asks me if I want the free beef taco or the free chicken taco, I’m gonna say “free cricket taco, please”!

Play hard.  Feast harder.

Big Pupi

Someone Better Win me a Taco or I’m Gonna be Mad!

Since Tacoby Bellsbury and Taco-co Crisp were unfairly eliminated from the World Series, I’m a little nervous that no one will win me a free taco this year.  Since I’ve watched a total of 0 Phillies’ games this year (well I did watch Manny bat in the NLCS), I decided to do some research into what kind of running game this team has and which Phillie can possibly make it rain free tacos.  Here’s my findings:

1. Jimmy Rollins (SS)- If a Phillie is going to win me a taco, Rollins is likely the man to do it.  He has 47 stolen bases this year.  We just need him to get on base.

2. Shane Victorino (CF)- If Rollins can’t bring the feast, Victorino may be able to.  36 steals on the year.  Unlike Taco-co, Victorino prefers not to start fights with pitchers who throw at him.  This bodes well for him not getting thrown out of the game and keeping my free taco hopes alive.

3. Chase Utley (2B)- With a name like Chase, you’d think this guy could run.  Not so much with only 14 steals on the season.  I’d say Chase has an outside chance of opening Taco Bell’s coffers.

4. Ryan Howard (1B)- Too fat to run.  1 steal on the season, which was likely a fluke.  Howard should mail me a coupon for a free Subway grinder to make up for his 0% chance of winning me a taco.

5. Pat Burrell (LF)- Is it even possible to steal 0 bases in a season?  I mean, not even a defensive indifference or something?  Burrell is lame.

6. Geoff Jenkins (RF)- Never heard of this guy, but apparently he doesn’t know how to run.  Perhaps he needs a bite in the bum to get moving.  1 steal on the season.

7. Pedro Feliz (3B)- More like Pedro Please get moving.  You stink.  0 steals on the season.

8. Carlos Ruiz (C)- While unlikely to steal a base himself (1 on the season), the Phillies catcher can still help out the cause by letting Carl Crawford steal on him.  Put it in your pocket, Carlos!

9. Cole Hamels (P)- Oddly enough, pitchers bat in the NL.  How lame is that?  One less potential base-stealer in the line-up!  Anyway, even if Hamels gets on base, there is no way he is risking messing up his hair by sliding into second.

As you can see, the Phillies’ order is extremely top-heavy.  If Rollins or Victorino don’t get on base, we will likely starve.

Play hard.  Feast harder.
Big Pupi